"Leadership and Self-Deception" - Christian repentance in a secular management book

My pastor recently recommended the book Leadership and Self-Deception (The Arbinger Institute (c) 2000, 3d ed 2018), which I read this past week. While the book does not acknowledge Christianity anywhere in the text, many teachings of Christianity are strong and plain, and I can see why the book would receive a pastoral recommendation*. It is a book that takes one premise and runs with it: "If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins ..." (That quotation from the New Testament forms the invitation to an honest and humble self-examination, confession, and repentance in many a Christian order of worship, for anyone unfamiliar with the words. While that Biblical quote does not appear in the book, it would be difficult to find a more accurate summary of the book.) It is fascinating that a book with such a thoroughly Christian premise should make its way onto a business best-sellers list. 

Without ever using the word "sin," the book describes our human tendency to fail at kindness, but then justify our lack of mercy by dwelling on the faults of those we resisted the urge to help. We easily become entrenched in the habit -- and justification -- of indifference toward others. It reviews the compulsive fault-finding that come from a decision to count ourselves as better than others, or others as less virtuous than ourselves, even if the decision was not consciously made. It walks the reader through the relentless slide from self-justification to provocation and mutual distrust, and the too common, too human end result of people considering their ill-treatment of others to be a proof of virtue. It exposes the self-deception at the heart of our self-justification and fault-finding. 

Without ever using the word "confession," the book describes the profound and positive changes that come from questioning our own virtue. It identifies that self-questioning humility as the key step in freeing ourselves from the distorted thinking that spring from our self-justification. 

Without ever using the word "repentance," it speaks extensively of the need for a new mindset that honestly acknowledges our own faults, and recognizes the equal humanity of those whose faults we so eagerly seek. 

The strongest point of the book may be the examples (less-than-deftly-written, but very relatable examples) of how we talk ourselves into thinking the worst of others and the best of ourselves. It also follows through with convincing instances of the havoc that self-justification wreaks on human relationships whenever it is left unchecked. It includes a worthwhile study on how often 2 people (or groups) can be locked into a mutually-reinforcing cycle in which each provokes the other, yet can only see their own wounds and the others' faults. And it describes ways to extract ourselves from the mess in order to lead clean and honest lives, not locked into the need to justify ourselves or find fault with others, but again free to act in kindness towards all. 

Much to my surprise, that business book may be the best modern study of confession and repentance that I have read. As a Christian I may wish for an acknowledgement of God, or forgiveness. But for a business book, it makes a remarkable start. 

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* Based on some cursory research, it looks like the key person at The Arbinger Institute spent some time teaching at Brigham Young, so I would hazard a guess he might be Mormon. It would explain the yes-and-no fit to Christianity as I know it. 

In gratitude for fathers: Happy Father's Day!

Though my own father passed away many years ago, I am still grateful for the kindness and support he provided over the years. 

To all fathers who have stepped up, great and small: Happy Father's Day! 

God's love in action: "Family Promise" (addressing family homelessness)

Many humanitarian organizations have good intentions. Good intentions do not always translate into good results. The God's Love In Action series focuses on people or organizations that seem to be able to translate those good intentions into results. 

Family Promise is an organization that tackles a particular type of homelessness: when families with minor children become unable to maintain a home. Sometimes Family Promise manages to prevent evictions. Sometimes a family is placed with a church. (My own congregation participates in Family Promise, where any families currently in service literally stay in our building for a week before transferring to the next congregation, while members of the congregation arrange meals, help meet basic needs, and even spend the night in the facility with them. Families on the verge of homelessness can then have their food and shelter provided for free while they stabilize. 

Family Promise also has other services to make families more financially stable. There are expectations for the family to begin saving and to build enough of a financial cushion to weather a financial surprise. There is training in financial literacy. 

And there is a reasonable amount of success in stabilizing families who then return to self-sufficiency. Family Promise seems to have hit that workable blend of supporting people while equipping them for a responsible and dignified life. 

God's love in action: finding the approaches that work

Previously in the "God's love in action" series, I'd looked at how Habitat for Humanity works. Specifically, we focused on why their approach seems to be more successful than other approaches to the same problem. This post continues in the vein of looking at largescale solutions not only for good intentions, but for measurable success in tackling the problem. 

I have heard it said that, as Christians, we are not called to be successful; we are called to be faithful. But if "success" is measured in actually helping the people we intend to help, then part of being faithful includes being successful in actually helping people. If we get bad results, then good intentions will require us to try other approaches. 

We don't often think of 12-step groups as a Christian outreach program. But 100 years ago they were exactly that. The leaders in outreach to alcoholics were Christian ministries. And one particular program called "The Oxford Group" was the direct forerunner of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

There's still a lot of spiritual work to be done in addiction recovery. But it has resisted mass solutions, and so far people recover one person at a time. For those who recover successfully, there are several things vital to recovery: a wide support system constructed to provide regular face-to-face contact with people who will listen and care, a dedicated contact person who is more experienced and on call to offer guidance; a roadmap of how to lose the dysfunctional coping skills and gain experience with healthier ones; and the concept of individual responsibility as each person takes ownership for their own life. There is also an expectation that people will "pass it on" and be there for the next person who needs help. All that is woven into a framework where spirituality is welcome and religion is, for many, necessary. 

It surprised me at first to see some things in common between Habitat for Humanity and AA (and other 12-step programs). They both focus on re-attaching people to a community, re-attaching people to a support system. They both focus on learning individual responsibility, but not learning it alone or without help. They both take seriously the need for practice and experience with new skills, for guidance with expectations of growing responsibility. 

We live in a world where there is no shortage of good intentions, but few programs have good results. The approach of building a community with structured responsibility seems to have promise, and it might be worth applying it to other large-scale problems. We have plenty of them.