Over a dozen directions for love in the New Testament

The New Testament has many passages about love, everything from love of God (good) to love of money (not). As a current research project has led me to review the New Testament in the original Greek, I was touched to find that there were special words underlying those translations, such as a special word that means "love of God" or that means "loving your children." (I expect Greek is more fluid in making compound words than we are in English.) Below are notes on those special New Testament words describing not just love, but what is loved: 

Good

• philotheos - love of God: 2 Timothy 3:4
• philandros - love of husband: Titus 2:4
• philanthropos, philanthropia - love of mankind (kindness, acting courteously): Acts 28:2, Acts 27:3
• philoxenia, philoxenos - fond of guests: hospitable, hospitality: Romans 12:13, Hebrews 13:2, 1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 1:8, 1 Peter 4:9
• philosophos - fond of wise things / philosophers: Acts 17:18
• philostorgos - fond of (one's own) relatives: Romans 12:10
• philoteknos - fond of (one's own) children: Titus 2:4
• philotimeomai - fond of honor (eager/dedicated/persevering): Romans 15:20, 2 Corinthians 5:9, 1 Thessalonians 4:11
• philophronos, philophron - fond of understanding or sympathy (kindly, courteous): Acts 28:7, 1 Peter 3:8

Not

• philarguria, philarguros - love of money (covetousness): 1 Timothy 6:10, Luke 16:14, 2 Timothy 3:2
• philautos - self-love (self-absorption): 2 Timothy 3:2
• philhedonos - love of pleasure: 2 Timothy 3:4
• philoneikiea / philoneikos - love of strife or argument: Luke 22:24, 1 Corinthians 11:16
• philoproteuo - fond of being first: 3 John 1:9

We tend to think in the most basic way that "love" is good, and it's usually shown that way. But in the New Testament, whether "love" is good seems to depend on what we're loving. 

"Is Jesus the only way?" conversation openers

"I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." -- Jesus (John 14:6)

Jesus' bold saying is a challenge to modern and post-modern minds. There is a tension between the ideal of truth and policy of tolerating all. Below are some notes on the more common objections I've heard to Jesus' claim, and ways to move the conversation forward. 

Objection: There are lots of great teachers

There may be a lot of great teachers from a human point of view, but God raised only one of them from the dead. God made clear which of the great teachers is the way to resurrection and life. We aren't left guessing about it or trying to see who has a better argument (or arguer). Once God has weighed in on the question, human arguments are pointless. 

Objection: There are good atheists too; they should go to heaven

Heaven is God's home. If someone hates God but thinks God owes them admission to his home, God may not think the same way about that. (This is in the context of the "atheists" who are intentionally spiteful about God and believers, the atheists of the "it's cool to be cruel" school.) 

Objection: It's not fair to have eternal fate depend on some obscure belief

God raised Jesus from the dead, and probably every adult in the world has heard that by now. There's no barrier to hearing it: anyone who knows even the barest basics about the major religions knows that. God loves everyone, and desires to save everyone, and sent a savior for everyone. 

After the initial round of discussion, the next move is explaining more about the good news: it means we can trust God. It means God loves us. It means he hasn't abandoned us to pointless lives that are nasty, brutish, and short. Or wherever the good news intersects the listener's felt needs.

The viral memories and the hidden vices

If my memories had view-counters like a video on the web, some memories would hardly have any views and others would be well-worn, their view-counters easily spinning up to double digits or more. As relentless as an ad algorithm, my mind can replay some of these memories when at rest. 

After some work trying to root out pockets of sin, it's clear that the worst parts of me tend to hide behind the best, or camouflage themselves that way: 

• If I want to be the MVP, I am likely to undervalue the contributions of others, or not make space for them. 
• If I am being helpful and kind, are my motives always pure, or is there some hope of being noticed and valued? 
• If I am being funny, have I done it at someone else's expense? 
• If I am noticing faults in others, am I doing it to think better of myself? 
• Am I a peacemaker, or am I avoiding conflict? 
• Am I patient, or am I undecided on the next step? 
• Am I overworked in one area of life, or am I avoiding unpleasant tasks in another area? 
• Am I focused on justice, or am I having trouble forgiving? 

When I look for my own vices, I might do well to see what's hiding behind my virtues. "Simultaneously saints and sinners," as they say in some circles. 

The commandment to be holy: How?

The Old Testament often repeated the command to Be holy as the Lord God is holy. The New Testament is clear that this applies to us also (1 Peter 1:16). But how do we become holy in that way? 

Of course we stay back from sin. I'm here considering times when we have done that, but still do not find ourselves having become a fountain of God-pleasing graceful thoughts, words, and actions. 

When the New Testament repeats the Levitical command to be holy, we do get some guidance, both in resisting our sinful tendencies, and in devoting ourselves to the brotherly love of fellowship (see 1 Peter 1). 

I'd also consider the Sabbath as a help for holiness. The Sabbath is a holy day, not because work is bad, not because work is illegitimate, but because the blessings of God deserve a time of focus. The Sabbath is especially useful for gratitude and for rest. Busy-ness can be opposed to holiness. So can tiredness and stress. And I'll speak for myself here that rest can be an act of faith: a recognition that my busy-ness is not always the solution, an act of trust that God is, after all, God. 

In the Bible we see that some "most holy" things can convey some holiness from God, as a bridge between God's ultimate holiness and this world. (Deeper dive here.) In the current Christian culture it's probably useful to add that book study is not the only means of time with God. Prayer and meditation, gratitude, and fellowship are worthy pursuits. For any who would hesitate about fellowship, consider  the apostle Paul's blessing of "the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit." I read that to mean both the fellowship with the Holy Spirit, and with each other through the Holy Spirit. It is a help to holiness when we listen to another person's cares, or otherwise arrange to be present in a way that encourages and uplifts. 

"Leadership and Self-Deception" - Christian repentance in a secular management book

My pastor recently recommended the book Leadership and Self-Deception (The Arbinger Institute (c) 2000, 3d ed 2018), which I read this past week. While the book does not acknowledge Christianity anywhere in the text, many teachings of Christianity are strong and plain, and I can see why the book would receive a pastoral recommendation*. It is a book that takes one premise and runs with it: "If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins ..." (That quotation from the New Testament forms the invitation to an honest and humble self-examination, confession, and repentance in many a Christian order of worship, for anyone unfamiliar with the words. While that Biblical quote does not appear in the book, it would be difficult to find a more accurate summary of the book.) It is fascinating that a book with such a thoroughly Christian premise should make its way onto a business best-sellers list. 

Without ever using the word "sin," the book describes our human tendency to fail at kindness, but then justify our lack of mercy by dwelling on the faults of those we resisted the urge to help. We easily become entrenched in the habit -- and justification -- of indifference toward others. It reviews the compulsive fault-finding that come from a decision to count ourselves as better than others, or others as less virtuous than ourselves, even if the decision was not consciously made. It walks the reader through the relentless slide from self-justification to provocation and mutual distrust, and the too common, too human end result of people considering their ill-treatment of others to be a proof of virtue. It exposes the self-deception at the heart of our self-justification and fault-finding. 

Without ever using the word "confession," the book describes the profound and positive changes that come from questioning our own virtue. It identifies that self-questioning humility as the key step in freeing ourselves from the distorted thinking that spring from our self-justification. 

Without ever using the word "repentance," it speaks extensively of the need for a new mindset that honestly acknowledges our own faults, and recognizes the equal humanity of those whose faults we so eagerly seek. 

The strongest point of the book may be the examples (less-than-deftly-written, but very relatable examples) of how we talk ourselves into thinking the worst of others and the best of ourselves. It also follows through with convincing instances of the havoc that self-justification wreaks on human relationships whenever it is left unchecked. It includes a worthwhile study on how often 2 people (or groups) can be locked into a mutually-reinforcing cycle in which each provokes the other, yet can only see their own wounds and the others' faults. And it describes ways to extract ourselves from the mess in order to lead clean and honest lives, not locked into the need to justify ourselves or find fault with others, but again free to act in kindness towards all. 

Much to my surprise, that business book may be the best modern study of confession and repentance that I have read. As a Christian I may wish for an acknowledgement of God, or forgiveness. But for a business book, it makes a remarkable start. 

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* Based on some cursory research, it looks like the key person at The Arbinger Institute spent some time teaching at Brigham Young, so I would hazard a guess he might be Mormon. It would explain the yes-and-no fit to Christianity as I know it. 

In gratitude for fathers: Happy Father's Day!

Though my own father passed away many years ago, I am still grateful for the kindness and support he provided over the years. 

To all fathers who have stepped up, great and small: Happy Father's Day! 

God's love in action: "Family Promise" (addressing family homelessness)

Many humanitarian organizations have good intentions. Good intentions do not always translate into good results. The God's Love In Action series focuses on people or organizations that seem to be able to translate those good intentions into results. 

Family Promise is an organization that tackles a particular type of homelessness: when families with minor children become unable to maintain a home. Sometimes Family Promise manages to prevent evictions. Sometimes a family is placed with a church. (My own congregation participates in Family Promise, where any families currently in service literally stay in our building for a week before transferring to the next congregation, while members of the congregation arrange meals, help meet basic needs, and even spend the night in the facility with them. Families on the verge of homelessness can then have their food and shelter provided for free while they stabilize. 

Family Promise also has other services to make families more financially stable. There are expectations for the family to begin saving and to build enough of a financial cushion to weather a financial surprise. There is training in financial literacy. 

And there is a reasonable amount of success in stabilizing families who then return to self-sufficiency. Family Promise seems to have hit that workable blend of supporting people while equipping them for a responsible and dignified life.