The viral memories and the hidden vices

If my memories had view-counters like a video on the web, some memories would hardly have any views and others would be well-worn, their view-counters easily spinning up to double digits or more. As relentless as an ad algorithm, my mind can replay some of these memories when at rest. 

After some work trying to root out pockets of sin, it's clear that the worst parts of me tend to hide behind the best, or camouflage themselves that way: 

• If I want to be the MVP, I am likely to undervalue the contributions of others, or not make space for them. 
• If I am being helpful and kind, are my motives always pure, or is there some hope of being noticed and valued? 
• If I am being funny, have I done it at someone else's expense? 
• If I am noticing faults in others, am I doing it to think better of myself? 
• Am I a peacemaker, or am I avoiding conflict? 
• Am I patient, or am I undecided on the next step? 
• Am I overworked in one area of life, or am I avoiding unpleasant tasks in another area? 
• Am I focused on justice, or am I having trouble forgiving? 

When I look for my own vices, I might do well to see what's hiding behind my virtues. "Simultaneously saints and sinners," as they say in some circles. 

The commandment to be holy: How?

The Old Testament often repeated the command to Be holy as the Lord God is holy. The New Testament is clear that this applies to us also (1 Peter 1:16). But how do we become holy in that way? 

Of course we stay back from sin. I'm here considering times when we have done that, but still do not find ourselves having become a fountain of God-pleasing graceful thoughts, words, and actions. 

When the New Testament repeats the Levitical command to be holy, we do get some guidance, both in resisting our sinful tendencies, and in devoting ourselves to the brotherly love of fellowship (see 1 Peter 1). 

I'd also consider the Sabbath as a help for holiness. The Sabbath is a holy day, not because work is bad, not because work is illegitimate, but because the blessings of God deserve a time of focus. The Sabbath is especially useful for gratitude and for rest. Busy-ness can be opposed to holiness. So can tiredness and stress. And I'll speak for myself here that rest can be an act of faith: a recognition that my busy-ness is not always the solution, an act of trust that God is, after all, God. 

In the Bible we see that some "most holy" things can convey some holiness from God, as a bridge between God's ultimate holiness and this world. (Deeper dive here.) In the current Christian culture it's probably useful to add that book study is not the only means of time with God. Prayer and meditation, gratitude, and fellowship are worthy pursuits. For any who would hesitate about fellowship, consider  the apostle Paul's blessing of "the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit." I read that to mean both the fellowship with the Holy Spirit, and with each other through the Holy Spirit. It is a help to holiness when we listen to another person's cares, or otherwise arrange to be present in a way that encourages and uplifts. 

"Leadership and Self-Deception" - Christian repentance in a secular management book

My pastor recently recommended the book Leadership and Self-Deception (The Arbinger Institute (c) 2000, 3d ed 2018), which I read this past week. While the book does not acknowledge Christianity anywhere in the text, many teachings of Christianity are strong and plain, and I can see why the book would receive a pastoral recommendation*. It is a book that takes one premise and runs with it: "If we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins ..." (That quotation from the New Testament forms the invitation to an honest and humble self-examination, confession, and repentance in many a Christian order of worship, for anyone unfamiliar with the words. While that Biblical quote does not appear in the book, it would be difficult to find a more accurate summary of the book.) It is fascinating that a book with such a thoroughly Christian premise should make its way onto a business best-sellers list. 

Without ever using the word "sin," the book describes our human tendency to fail at kindness, but then justify our lack of mercy by dwelling on the faults of those we resisted the urge to help. We easily become entrenched in the habit -- and justification -- of indifference toward others. It reviews the compulsive fault-finding that come from a decision to count ourselves as better than others, or others as less virtuous than ourselves, even if the decision was not consciously made. It walks the reader through the relentless slide from self-justification to provocation and mutual distrust, and the too common, too human end result of people considering their ill-treatment of others to be a proof of virtue. It exposes the self-deception at the heart of our self-justification and fault-finding. 

Without ever using the word "confession," the book describes the profound and positive changes that come from questioning our own virtue. It identifies that self-questioning humility as the key step in freeing ourselves from the distorted thinking that spring from our self-justification. 

Without ever using the word "repentance," it speaks extensively of the need for a new mindset that honestly acknowledges our own faults, and recognizes the equal humanity of those whose faults we so eagerly seek. 

The strongest point of the book may be the examples (less-than-deftly-written, but very relatable examples) of how we talk ourselves into thinking the worst of others and the best of ourselves. It also follows through with convincing instances of the havoc that self-justification wreaks on human relationships whenever it is left unchecked. It includes a worthwhile study on how often 2 people (or groups) can be locked into a mutually-reinforcing cycle in which each provokes the other, yet can only see their own wounds and the others' faults. And it describes ways to extract ourselves from the mess in order to lead clean and honest lives, not locked into the need to justify ourselves or find fault with others, but again free to act in kindness towards all. 

Much to my surprise, that business book may be the best modern study of confession and repentance that I have read. As a Christian I may wish for an acknowledgement of God, or forgiveness. But for a business book, it makes a remarkable start. 

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* Based on some cursory research, it looks like the key person at The Arbinger Institute spent some time teaching at Brigham Young, so I would hazard a guess he might be Mormon. It would explain the yes-and-no fit to Christianity as I know it. 

In gratitude for fathers: Happy Father's Day!

Though my own father passed away many years ago, I am still grateful for the kindness and support he provided over the years. 

To all fathers who have stepped up, great and small: Happy Father's Day! 

God's love in action: "Family Promise" (addressing family homelessness)

Many humanitarian organizations have good intentions. Good intentions do not always translate into good results. The God's Love In Action series focuses on people or organizations that seem to be able to translate those good intentions into results. 

Family Promise is an organization that tackles a particular type of homelessness: when families with minor children become unable to maintain a home. Sometimes Family Promise manages to prevent evictions. Sometimes a family is placed with a church. (My own congregation participates in Family Promise, where any families currently in service literally stay in our building for a week before transferring to the next congregation, while members of the congregation arrange meals, help meet basic needs, and even spend the night in the facility with them. Families on the verge of homelessness can then have their food and shelter provided for free while they stabilize. 

Family Promise also has other services to make families more financially stable. There are expectations for the family to begin saving and to build enough of a financial cushion to weather a financial surprise. There is training in financial literacy. 

And there is a reasonable amount of success in stabilizing families who then return to self-sufficiency. Family Promise seems to have hit that workable blend of supporting people while equipping them for a responsible and dignified life. 

God's love in action: finding the approaches that work

Previously in the "God's love in action" series, I'd looked at how Habitat for Humanity works. Specifically, we focused on why their approach seems to be more successful than other approaches to the same problem. This post continues in the vein of looking at largescale solutions not only for good intentions, but for measurable success in tackling the problem. 

I have heard it said that, as Christians, we are not called to be successful; we are called to be faithful. But if "success" is measured in actually helping the people we intend to help, then part of being faithful includes being successful in actually helping people. If we get bad results, then good intentions will require us to try other approaches. 

We don't often think of 12-step groups as a Christian outreach program. But 100 years ago they were exactly that. The leaders in outreach to alcoholics were Christian ministries. And one particular program called "The Oxford Group" was the direct forerunner of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

There's still a lot of spiritual work to be done in addiction recovery. But it has resisted mass solutions, and so far people recover one person at a time. For those who recover successfully, there are several things vital to recovery: a wide support system constructed to provide regular face-to-face contact with people who will listen and care, a dedicated contact person who is more experienced and on call to offer guidance; a roadmap of how to lose the dysfunctional coping skills and gain experience with healthier ones; and the concept of individual responsibility as each person takes ownership for their own life. There is also an expectation that people will "pass it on" and be there for the next person who needs help. All that is woven into a framework where spirituality is welcome and religion is, for many, necessary. 

It surprised me at first to see some things in common between Habitat for Humanity and AA (and other 12-step programs). They both focus on re-attaching people to a community, re-attaching people to a support system. They both focus on learning individual responsibility, but not learning it alone or without help. They both take seriously the need for practice and experience with new skills, for guidance with expectations of growing responsibility. 

We live in a world where there is no shortage of good intentions, but few programs have good results. The approach of building a community with structured responsibility seems to have promise, and it might be worth applying it to other large-scale problems. We have plenty of them. 

Pursuing a knowledge of God, and pursuing godliness

Today, on Trinity Sunday, I am reminded of how eagerly we can pursue a knowledge of God, how thirsty we are for a deeper understanding of God. But the pictures we draw of God often pursue the lines of our curiosity, not the lines of his gifts and his self-disclosure. I am as prone to curiosity as the next person. But if I were to try to draw God based on Scripture taken as God's self-revelation, I might get something more like this: 

Let me be the first to say: It's incomplete, and could also use some editing for more appropriate parallels. With that out of the way, here is what it's trying to convey: 

The general form is ripples going out from the center, and the center is God. The rippling outward indicates God's reach throughout creation and specifically to the creatures who are made in God's image. Streaming out from God, we see water representing God's actions to cleanse us and renew us, foremost of which is the work of Christ; and flames representing the Spirit's presence with us. 

The center, God as the origin of all things, contains three attributes that come up as key in Scripture. At the center is "holy," as Scripture repeatedly says "Be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy." While it is God's attribute first, it is something that he means for us to share. At one side is "mercy," where Scripture tells us to be merciful as our Father in heaven is merciful (again, a key attribute that God means for us to share with him). On the other side is "wisdom," where Scripture tells us that the wisdom of God is communicated to us by the Spirit of God: wisdom, understanding, counsel, might, knowledge, fear of the Lord (reverence), joy in his presence. Once again, this is an attribute God means for us to share. 

At the top are the well-known gifts of the Spirit: faith, hope, and love. At the bottom we see the fruits of the Spirit. 

The graphic has some significant shortcomings (beyond the amateur art): though it is already crowded enough, still "Jesus" and "the Holy Spirit" are not explicitly named anywhere. That is not a small shortcoming, and so I can consider this to be a not-quite-beta version of the drawing, since it requires reading the accompanying text to get to material that is so vital. 

For all that it lacks, there are many passages of Scripture that could be explained with reference to this visual, where the authors are saying: God is this way, he is transforming us to be like him. 

If on Trinity Sunday I find myself drawing three circles to describe the person and work of God, these  particular three circles show how God's character has ripple-effects in our lives. The traits I would most focus on today are the ones he wants to share with us. The work of the Word and Spirit are to bring exactly that fellowship -- and transformation -- into our lives. 

Thank you for your patience with this series, now concluded. Several of my other series over the years have been driving at the same point. Related series include On being like God, and Rethinking the Shape of the Trinity, of which the most closely-related post in the series is part 4, which originally appeared in the Trinity Blogging Summit in 2009.