Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Darwinists set to endorse religious affiliations

In a backlash against the militant neo-atheists, moderate atheists have decided to endorse religious affiliations, citing "survival of the fittest" concerns. This surprise move was anounced today in Atheist/Progressive Report 1 (APR-1), which cited the following reasons for their move:
  1. Religious groups encourage people to have children, which some Darwinists consider to be a useful step in the survival of the species.
  2. They discourage killing children in utero, again contributing to higher reproduction rates.
  3. They advocate stable relationships, proven healthy for any offspring.
  4. They encourage heterosexual unions, which generally leads to more offspring than same-sex unions.
Given the Darwinist dedication to survival of the fittest, these moderate Darwinists have determined that, in their own self-interest, it is best to join religious groups, raise their children in such groups, and encourage others to do the same.


Anastasia Theodoridis said...

Very nice for April Fools Day! I wish I cold come up with something that good.

Best I could come up with was a headline: "Kieschnick Resigns Post, Seeks to Become Orthodox." But then I wasn't sure whether that would be all that funny or not...

Weekend Fisher said...

I don't know how many people would think that's funny, but I do!

Take care & God bless
Anne / WF

TheraP said...

Next April 1, I bet this same group will denounce Darwin, for not marrying. (I believe I am correct about his not having produced progeny and thus not helping "survival of the fittest"... or maybe he wasn't fit?) But, yes, following their logic, I suspect in a year's time they will "see the light."

Weekend Fisher said...

Oh, you'd be shocked what's going to happen on next April 1. I've already got that one sketched out too. It's a little more entertaining than this one, less sarcastic ...