It is rare that I take inspiration from the comment section of another conversation. But I think the content here merits it. This post asked the long-married couples for the best advice on staying married.
The comment thread was lively, so I enlisted a bot to help summarize, which it did based on the most frequently echoed and highly engaged pieces of advice among the responses.
Top 10 Pieces of Advice from the Comments
- Put God (or faith) at the center of your marriage.
This topped the list and dominated replies, often cited as the unbreakable foundation.
"A cord of three strands is not easily broken - Ecc.4:12." - Never go to bed angry—resolve conflicts before sleep
A near-universal tip, emphasizing daily emotional resets to prevent resentment buildup. - Forgive quickly and let go of grudges
Quick forgiveness was hailed as essential for longevity, avoiding the poison of prolonged hurt. - Prioritize regular date nights and intentional time together
Couples stressed keeping romance alive through consistent effort, no matter the life stage. - Remove divorce as an option—commit fully from day one
Blunt and recurring: Treat "divorce" as a forbidden word to weather storms. - Prioritize your spouse above all others (except God)
Family, kids, or parents come second—your marriage is the core unit.
Example comment: "Never put any human before your spouse. Not parents, siblings or even children. Only God comes before your spouse." - Choose a partner who makes you laugh
Humor as a buffer for hardships; select for joy, not just compatibility checklists. - Love sacrificially, like Christ loves the Church
Selfless, unconditional love—putting your partner's needs first consistently. - Address your own selfishness as the real issue
Shift focus inward: Marriage problems often stem from personal flaws, not just the other's.
Example comment: "Treat your own selfishness as the main problem in the marriage," quoting Timothy Keller - Avoid infidelity at all costs (including family temptations)
Practical warnings against betrayal, often with humor but deadly serious undertones.
