Spiritual Exercises: Put away all bitterness, wrath, and anger (Part 2)

Last post, I introduced the idea of a resentments inventory to work on the Biblical direction to "get rid of all bitterness" (etc), Ephesians 4:31, and introduced the first part: making an honest and thorough list of the resentments we're carrying, or specifically the people or groups against which we're harboring bitterness. 

Moving forward, we identify the specific cause of the resentment or ill-will in each case, and from there we find the underlying reason why it affects us in particular. 

Identify the cause of the resentment (external reason)

I will use a real example, starting where we were last week; since this is public I will leave out names and simply list the first person on my list as "Person A" here in public. I avoid the company of Person A out of resentment. So why is it that I resent Person A? For making fun of me in front of our friend group, and showing no regret when I explained that it bothered me. 

Most people have an easy time identifying the external cause: we see that other people are wrong or imperfect in some way, and stop there. When we quickly see that another person did wrong, it's easy to look no further because it's very comfortable to look no further. But the external cause -- blaming other people -- is of no spiritual use to us. We dig deeper. 

Identify the underlying reasons (internal reason)

To dig deeper, I want to identify the underlying reason why it affects me. 

I've heard it explained like this, when someone was angry about someone who "was a complete jerk!" The answer was, "Okay, but why does that bother you? What does that have to do with you?" We don't get angry about someone being a jerk unless it affects us in some way. So how does this one particular person affect us? 

How it affects us involves some self-reflection. Resentment is a temptation to hatred  Any temptation only tempts us to the extent that it finds a weakness. So these underlying reasons show us how we become vulnerable to temptation. We may find that there are human needs, or social vulnerabilities, or unmet goals. These things may not be bad in themselves but do provide an opening through which we can be tempted. So at this point we want to find how exactly the external situation combines with our weakness, desires, etc. to expose us to temptation. 

I'd like to set aside self-blame from this by referring to Jesus' example. When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, we see the same principle at work. He was hungry so the first temptation used food as the exposure to temptation: would he use his power in a self-serving way? Sure, there were other temptations, even within the bid to get him to turn the stones to bread. But simple hunger will work as an example of how any weakness can expose us to temptation, even the mere fact of being a human who needs to eat. So not every weakness is blameworthy, though we'll want to be honest with ourselves about what we find. 

How does it look in my own example? In the case of "Person A", I find myself affected in my friend group. Keeping my distance from Person A affects other friendships among people that we both know. It also affects our former friendship that I had thought was developing. The temptation, the resentment, is because I feel a threat to my social inclusion and/or my reputation. 

So for any given resentment, the self-reflection is used to become clear about not merely "they were wrong" but about how and why it affects me. This shows me why this particular thing bothers me. I will discover how it causes me discomfort, fear, embarrassment, risk of reputation, risk of friendship or other relationship, risk of income, or any other of the variety of ways we humans are vulnerable. It's helpful to get specific so I can see what's actually bothering me. It's not the external cause; the world is full of people behaving badly. The reason I'm carrying resentment about this in particular is some internal cause, and it's best for me to be honest about where I'm vulnerable. 

So I'd encourage anyone interested in trying this approach to take a piece of paper and jot down a list: name of person I resent, what did they do (external cause), and how it affects me (my vulnerability). 

Next week, I plan to follow up on "Now that we've identified these resentments, what next?"

Spiritual Exercises: Put away all bitterness, wrath, and anger (Part 1)

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice." - Ephesians 4:31

By shorthand we can refer to all of the above as resentments, or under the umbrella term of bitterness. 

When simply reading this verse, it is likely that a reader takes in either an impression ("Bitterness is bad") or an intention ("I should get rid of bitterness"). But the verse is a call to action, more than good intentions. We may recognize resentments as harmful and intend to get rid of them without having the slightest idea how to do it. We may be embarrassed or frustrated that the good intentions haven't already gotten rid of the resentments. Or we may lack tools to give us awareness of what resentments we have. We could use concrete guidance: how do we actually get rid of resentment? 

There are spiritual tools for that, and those tools have an interesting backstory with deep roots in the Christian faith. Through a church outreach program, these tools went native in the recovery communities where they saw some useful refinements but obscured their Christian roots. Here I hope to bring these spiritual exercises back to their native ground as a time-tested exercise to get rid of resentments. This post presents Part 1, in which we first identify the resentments that will be reviewed. 

First, identify the resentments. On an actual piece of paper, make an actual written list of those we resent, or where we harbor grudges. We may list individuals, principles, groups, institutions -- any or all of them. The criterion for the list is not the identity of the other but simply whether we have bitterness or resentment toward them. Anyone of whom we speak ill, or are happy when others speak ill of them, has earned a place on the list. Anyone of whom we complain or that we scrutinize to find fault has earned a place on the list. Anyone who is a target of our sarcasm or derision has earned a place on the list. 

Beginning with these sentences, list the people, places, groups, institutions, etc towards which I harbor resentments: 

• I am bitter toward ...
• I am angry toward ...
• I talk badly about ...
• I have ill-will toward ...
• I am sarcastic toward ... 
• I find fault with ... 
• I complain about ...
• I am eager to repeat bad reports about ... 

We are not here concerned with judging whether they deserve it or justifying whether we are in the right; few things can be as unhelpful to our own growth as justifying our bitterness by our location in a fallen world. Without any attempt to evaluate whether a resentment is "right" because the other person surely has flaws, we are simply trying for honesty about whether bitterness exists. It may be useful to keep the list handy for a few days or up to a week, so that new people can be added to the list as we notice a resentment in our minds. 

This is a private list; no one should review it without us wanting them to. Likewise if we're aware that someone else is keeping a list, it is vital not to ask for it or attempt to see it, and not to initiate any conversation about someone else's list. 

To be continued ...

Best of the Blogroll 2025

I like to ring in the new year by recognizing blog neighbors whose work enriched my spiritual life, or contributed to growth in understanding during the year. Here are the best-loved posts of 2025:  

• CADRE Comments - BK, one of the founding members of the CADRE, raises awareness of the purported Moses inscriptions and of his hesitations about using it in historical arguments. 
• Common Denominator - Ken Schenck is a prolific writer and self-publisher, but the piece that interested me most this year was a summary of the development of his thought during a year at seminary. 
• Dr Claude Mariottini has maintained a light post schedule this year. His Christmas post is a worthy read: The Prince of Peace: Isaiah's Promise Fulfilled. 
• Forward Progress - Michael Kelley is a prolific poster of edifying content. His post about 4 effects of being rooted and established in love shows his willingness to take seriously the Christian particulars even if they are subject of scorn in the secular world. His post on 3 reasons for Christians to pursue unity again touches on topics dear to my heart and for the witness of Christianity in the world. And he recognizes (and encourages) the quiet consistency of discipleship, and the value of church membership in A Christian without a church is a Christian in trouble. He closes the year reminding us that "[t]he Great Commission is not negotiable; it's not restrictive; it's also just not that complicated" in Go Tell It on the Mountain that Jesus Christ Is Born. 
• Glory To God For All Things - Father Freeman invites us to explore meaning and the nature of communication, understanding, and thought in Truth, Lies, and Icons. 
• Hyperekperissou keeps up a steady stream of book reviews, sometimes touching on themes of the faith. His review of The Mestizo Augustine raises awareness of how multi-culturalism is not new to our current era. 
• Jennica, periodically posting useful material even if not on a traditional blog site, has a useful reference on quotations from the ante-Nicene Fathers from books in the New Testament. 
• Meta's Blog - Joe Hinman, answering atheist objections to the end, posted his response to those atheists who claim that the gospels are myth as his last post before passing away in 2025. Memory eternal, Joe! 
• The Pocket Scroll calls attention to a collection of Maximus the Confessor's Sayings on Love from the Philokalia. 
• Reading Acts often posts on current academic literature in the field of Biblical Studies, for example this book review of Writing and Rewriting the Gospels: John and the Synoptics. 
• Roger Pearse is a standout in the field of ancient manuscripts and related fields. This year he has translated some writings of St Jerome into English for the first time (examples here and here). With his customary thorough research and deep sourcing, he also posted an entertaining piece on the modern origins of the Easter bunny. 
• Sun and Shield - while Martin LaBar prefers to give the spotlight to others with his Sunspots series (nearly to 1000 entries at this point), he also posts original material such as his thoughts on the importance of gratitude, noting that grumbling/complaining makes it onto some Biblical lists of sins. 
• Undivided Looking - Aron Wall prefers his posts in-depth and his analysis meticulous. Buckle up for an in-depth dive into Paradoxes of Theodicy. 

Thank you to all Christian bloggers posting informative, uplifting, and edifying content in 2025, both the pieces I'm aware of and the ones I'm not. Best wishes and blessings for 2026!

What would it take for me to forgive?

"What would it take for me to forgive someone who wrongs me?" is something I've considered at times. For Christians, who see forgiveness as a good thing, forgiveness is still a common struggle. It might be easier if another person showed regret for harming me or treating me unfairly. It would help if such a person apologized. It would be fantastic if someone offered to make up for some of the wrongs they had done. 

Or what if they did none of those things and left the harm exactly as-is, unacknowledged, unapologized, unamended? 

"In this is love: not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John  4:10-11)

For God, the question was not what hoops must the sinner go through before He retires the grudge. He was not expecting us to repay him. He did not demand our humility. He did not approach reconciliation by hoping for something from us. His thoughts are so far opposite ours that He did not demand what we must do, but offered what He could do, even though the fault was ours. He was willing to cover the cost himself as he rebuilt the relationship before we agreed to do the same. 

The point here is not to try to lecture myself into forgiveness, but to recognize how differently God approaches forgiveness. I hope to allow myself first of all to be grateful for it. I hope that recognition moves me to see the world more as He does. As far as whether I am called to be first to put down the grudge: of course I am, and especially with those who do not know Christ. 

Messiah: The Talmud on Messianic Prophecy (Updated 2025)

Various times over the years I have heard the charge that the New Testament makes improper use of the Hebrew Scriptures. The typical suspicion is that it forces certain passages into service as Messianic prophecies in a way that is at least out-of-context, if not wrong or dishonest. A current example is at Common Denominator, where Ken Schenck mentions, 

[A] key issue for me was the way the New Testament interpreted the Old Testament. It didn’t seem to follow the rules of inductive Bible study. The New Testament didn’t seem to interpret the Old Testament in context. 

His immediate example is Isaiah 7:14 (the maiden shall shall conceive and bear a child, and his name will be called Immanuel). 

Here we will look at some ancient Jewish approaches to faithfully interpreting Scripture, particularly drawing from the Talmud. The sages' methods of interpretation allow for deeper thematic resonance than inductive Bible study, and a firm commitment to the relevance of the Messiah in all prophecy. Because this post is not intended as a full exploration of Mr. Schenck's themes, I'd encourage readers to review Mr. Schenck's post in full. I'll limit myself here to addressing any suspicions that may have been suggested about the New Testament texts. 

The first point that needs addressing, when reading the Talmud, is something we still see today: whenever three theologians gather together, there are often at least four opinions among them. The Talmud does not claim that we must hold a certain view of any particular Scripture; in reading the Talmud there are very few views that are held without any difference of opinion. The purpose of this post is simply to show, with references, that the Messianic interpretations of those who wrote the New Testament were in line with acceptable and traditional thoughts of ancient Judaism.

Multivalent Meanings of Scripture

In our modern thinking, we generally look for "the" meaning of a passage of Scripture. That is, we assume there is one right way to understand a passage, and if we have found "the right meaning" then every other understanding is "the wrong one", with immediate suspicions of dishonesty or unfaithfulness. I am not here talking about agreeing to disagree, but the deeper question of whether only one meaning is intended. The sages of classical Judaism rejected that narrow way of thinking: 

For Scripture says, "God has spoken once, twice have I heard this, that strength belongs unto God" [Ps 62:11 NIV, or Ps 62:12 NJPS]. One Biblical verse may convey several teachings, but a single teaching cannot be deduced from different Scriptural verses. In R. Ishmael's School it was taught: "And like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces" (Jeremiah 23:29) i.e., just as the rock is split into many splinters, so also may one Biblical verse convey many teachings. (Sanhedrin 34a)

This understanding was not a quirk of the Talmudic era. In a modern Jewish study Bible, that verse from Psalm 62 is the basis for the study note: 

This parallelism is one of the classic texts expounded in rabbinic culture to mean that God’s word is multivalent and needs to be interpreted in a variety of special ways (see, e.g. b. Sanh. 34a). (The Jewish Study Bible, Oxford University Press, 1999)

The classic understanding of the Hebrew Bible is richer than the restrictions we tend to place on it. They believed that "one right meaning" is too rigid a way to read something that's layered with symbolism, inspired by God, and in conversation with both past and future. 

The Psalm verse "One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard" recalls the various "counting" Proverbs. These are proverbs where the writer's catalog of things to consider is poetically expanded during a verse, such as "Three things are beyond me ... four I cannot fathom. (Proverbs 30:18)".  That poetic structure calls our attention to how in pondering a matter, we add to our wisdom. If we ponder how many things we do not understand, we add to our humility. And while we cannot add to the word of God, we can always add to our understanding. The paradigm where we seek "the one true meaning" of a verse is a broken paradigm. 

The Messianic Scriptures

Another consistent theme in the Talmud is that all prophecy should be interpreted in light of the Messiah. On a multivalent reading of Scripture, there is no conflict between an immediate sense and a Messianic sense. 

The Talmud recorded an ancient Jewish approach on interpreting the Hebrew Scriptures:

“All the prophets prophesied only for the days of the Messiah” – Berachoth 34b

And again

“All the prophets prophesied only in respect of the Messianic era;” – Sanhedrin 99a

That is, any prophecy could rightly be read as Messianic. 

Did everyone hold this view? Not necessarily; there is also an opinion that all prophets prophesied on behalf of those who would marry their daughters to scholars. (When we remember how many scholars were involved in writing the Talmud, it makes more sense.) While the comment about scholars may have been intended as humor, we can see that they did not insist on a unanimous view. Among the sages, very few views are ever held unanimously, and the different rabbinical schools held a usually-friendly openness towards each others' views. 

Interpreting all prophecy in light of the Messiah was an accepted ancient Jewish tradition with many examples of its kind, including a great many passages which did not specifically refer to the Messiah. This was considered not just tolerable but also right. When Ruth (ancestress of King David) has leftover grain, this is seen to prefigure the days of the Messiah (Shabbath 113b). Teachings about meals to eat on the Sabbath are interpreted as having special importance for the Messianic era (Shabbath 118a). Even non-prophetic passages could be interpreted as Messianic prophecy, and it was seen as a legitimate interpretation. 

What does this mean? It means that the New Testament usage of the Hebrew Scriptures was true to the traditional methods and interpretive precepts of ancient Judaism. It is therefore legitimate interpretation to read passages such as “Out of Egypt I shall call my son” as Messianic. Likewise, it is legitimate interpretation according to ancient Hebrew practice to read “The maiden shall conceive and bear a child” as Messianic. It is worth remembering that it was the ancient Hebrews who considered it right to interpret the Hebrew Scriptures in light of the Messiah, even when the immediate meaning was not directly about Messiah. This was no late innovation specific to followers of Jesus. More importantly, it was not seen as a distortion of the texts to interpret them in a Messianic light.

Specific Messianic Prophecies

Aside from the vague prefigurings such as Sabbath meals and Ruth’s leftover grain, I'd like to review some of the specific things that were expected of the Messiah, and passages in the Talmud that are more directly about the Messiah. 

There is an interesting discussion recorded in Sukkah 52a starting with the passage “the land will mourn” (Zechariah 12:12):

“What is the cause of the mourning? — R. Dosa and the Rabbis differ on the point. One explained, The cause is the slaying of Messiah the son of Joseph, and the other explained, The cause is the slaying of the Evil Inclination.”

The question is raised, “It is well according to him who explains that the cause is the slaying of Messiah the son of Joseph, since that well agrees with the Scriptural verse, And they shall look upon me because they have thrust him through, and they shall mourn for him as one mourns for his only son.” – Sukkah 52a (Scripture referenced is Zechariah 12:10, part of the same passage originally being discussed)

Those who hold to the view of the slaying of the evil inclination also discuss their view. It is interesting to note that, in their discussion, they never object to the idea of the Messiah being slain.

The discussion continues in the same passage of the Talmud:

“Our Rabbis taught, The Holy One, blessed be He, will say to the Messiah, the son of David (May he reveal himself speedily in our days!), ‘Ask of me anything, and I will give it to thee’, as it is said, I will tell of the decree etc. this day have I begotten thee, ask of me and I will give the nations for thy inheritance. But when he will see that the Messiah the son of Joseph is slain, he will say to Him, ‘Lord of the Universe, I ask of Thee only the gift of life’.’As to life’, He would answer him, ‘Your father David has already prophesied this concerning you’, as it is said, He asked life of thee, thou gavest it him.” – Sukkah 52a (Scriptures referenced are Psalm 2:7-8, and Psalm 21:4.)

Another discussion focuses on different views of when and how to look for Messiah’s coming:

“R. Alexandri said: R. Joshua opposed two verses: it is written, And behold, one like the son of man came with the clouds of heaven, whilst [elsewhere] it is written, lowly, and riding upon an ass! — if they are meritorious, with the clouds of heaven; if not, lowly and riding upon an ass.” – Sanhedrin 98a (Scriptures referenced are Daniel 7:13 and Zechariah 9:9.)

Few of the conversations are as tightly-focused as this. When looking at passages that are directly Messianic, it is more plain how they apply to the Messiah. When we look at secondary interpretations, it becomes less plain. Christians in particular will enjoy reading an ancient discussion on calculating when the Messiah will come and how long the earth will endure. One commentator uses the following passage in this discussion of the duration of the world and the coming of the Messiah:

“After two days will he revive us: in the third day, he will raise us up, and we shall live in his sight.” – Sanhedrin 97a (Scripture referenced is Hosea 6:2)

The commentator himself, while seeing Messianic implications of this verse, does not interpret this in the same way that a modern Christian would. But based on the Messianic view of Scripture, we can see in this passage how Jesus could say that the prophets foretold he would be raised from the dead on the third day.

Conclusion

According to ancient Jewish principles of interpretation, any passage of Scripture might contain a hidden mention of Messiah, and that knowledge should be sought out. Reading prophecy that way was neither wrong nor dishonest, but accepted as legitimate in the Judaism of that day. In short, the Messianic view of Scripture is valid and directly rooted in accepted practices of ancient Judaism.

Originally blogged on CADRE Comments 04/07/2005, and incorporating various material blogged here since then

I know you by name, said the LORD

When I meet a new person, there is a time before I know their name. Even after the introductions take place, I may still struggle with their name. It doesn't have to be a complicated name or an unfamiliar name, just a person I don't know well yet. Once I know a person better, their name sticks in my mind more easily. Knowing someone's name is generally a sign of a friendlier relationship, something more familiar. Once I have a connection with someone I know their name, and it stays with me. The person means something to me, so I have a name for them. 

"You (Moses) have found grace in my sight, and I know you by name." (Exodus 33:17)

"He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." (John 10:3)

God does not merely "know our name" for the sake of displaying his omniscience. It is not to brag on the extent of his knowledge or show off his skill. It is to show that we have found favor in his sight, and he will be a leader to us. He "knows our name" in the sense that we mean something to him. 

Long-time married folks' best advice on staying married

It is rare that I take inspiration from the comment section of another conversation. But I think the content here merits it. This post asked the long-married couples for the best advice on staying married. 

The comment thread was lively, so I enlisted a bot to help summarize, which it did based on the most frequently echoed and highly engaged pieces of advice among the responses. 

Top 10 Pieces of Advice from the Comments

1. Put God (or faith) at the center of your marriage. 
   This topped the list and dominated replies, often cited as the unbreakable foundation.
   "A cord of three strands is not easily broken - Ecc.4:12."
   
   
2. Never go to bed angry—resolve conflicts before sleep
   A near-universal tip, emphasizing daily emotional resets to prevent resentment buildup.
   
   
3. Forgive quickly and let go of grudges
   Quick forgiveness was hailed as essential for longevity, avoiding the poison of prolonged hurt.
   
   
4. Prioritize regular date nights and intentional time together
   Couples stressed keeping romance alive through consistent effort, no matter the life stage.
   
   
5. Remove divorce as an option—commit fully from day one
   Blunt and recurring: Treat "divorce" as a forbidden word to weather storms.
   
   
6. Prioritize your spouse above all others (except God)
   Family, kids, or parents come second—your marriage is the core unit.
   Example comment: "Never put any human before your spouse. Not parents, siblings or even children. Only God comes before your spouse."
   
   
7. Choose a partner who makes you laugh
   Humor as a buffer for hardships; select for joy, not just compatibility checklists.
   
   
8. Love sacrificially, like Christ loves the Church
   Selfless, unconditional love—putting your partner's needs first consistently.
   
   
9. Address your own selfishness as the real issue
   Shift focus inward: Marriage problems often stem from personal flaws, not just the other's.
   Example comment: "Treat your own selfishness as the main problem in the marriage," quoting Timothy Keller
   
   
10. Avoid infidelity at all costs (including family temptations)
    Practical warnings against betrayal, often with humor but deadly serious undertones.