The Aslan Seminar (Humor)

What if there were an Aslan Seminar, similar to the Jesus Seminar? Here is a letter from a Narnian skeptic:

"... And all that outrageous nonsense about Aslan being good. Why you'd think they'd completely forgotten about all the barbarity. He fought a real battle -- and killed talking beasts -- at the Battle of Beruna. How do you think they felt, being mauled by lions and impaled by unicorns? What utter nonsense to think of Aslan as some kind of hero, considering his bloody record. Not only did he maul people at Beruna (and order his troops to do the same), but he also mauled a girl riding horseback in plain peacetime once. He seems simply to have a taste for blood, like any other wild animal."

"The story about his having been killed and raised again is obviously a fiction. What witnesses were there other than Susan and Lucy? And they were both tired, befuddled, and grief-stricken, and seeing events in dim light too, even by their own accounts. Not only that, but Susan and Lucy themselves are problematic; we can't be entirely certain they even existed. No, we simply must dismiss the whole thing as nonsense concocted to try to salvage the hopelessly-damaged reputation of the bloodthirsty savage, Aslan ...