Lenten self-examination: The disciples disputed among themselves ...

And he came to Capernaum: and being in the house he asked them, What was it that you all disputed among yourselves along the way? But they held their peace: for along the way they had disputed among themselves, who should be the greatest. And he sat down, and called the twelve, and said to them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all. (Mark 9:33-35)

There are a few times where the gospels show the disciples arguing amongst themselves. It's human nature; divisions occur. And disputes over the top spot, the MVP, the prestige, the leadership -- things haven't changed much since the disciples' day. 

In my self-examination this week I found that I'm determined to be the best. That's not quite the same thing as determined to be excellent, or determined to be the best that I can be. There's a competitive edge to it. When other people are recognized and honored, do I rejoice for them? Or do I wish it had been me? I find it reassuring that the disciples went through the same thing, so common a human temptation. I find it reassuring that Jesus addressed it. Jesus lived his own words: he made himself servant of all, found himself a convicted criminal. That kind of "best" is not at anyone else's expense, and does not covet another person's position or reputation or recognition. That kind of "best" is the kind that meets the needs of others. That kind of "best" is compatible with loving our neighbors as ourselves. 

Spiritual Wishlist: A generous and joyful humility

Sometimes I carelessly think of humility as something near to self-hatred, or (more mildly) at least something like self-forgetfulness. I suppose "self-forgetfulness" is closer to the mark, but whenever I define humility in terms of its relation to myself, I am sure that I have missed the point: humility is about a frame of reference that does not define everything by referring back to ourselves. 

Humility affirms our own lovability in the same breath that it affirms others' lovability. Humility makes room for others by a generous spirit:

• generosity in our thoughts about them, consideration and attention and thoughtfulness
• generosity in listening to them, rather than biding our time to talk
• generosity in recognizing their best actions 
• generosity in recognizing their contributions
• generosity in focus on others, and including them in my thoughts
• generosity in making sure they are heard and understood
• a willingness to delight in someone else's accomplishments

Humility is also lived out in compassion for their failures, as I've had my own too. 

For me, that's often a struggle. It takes deliberate effort: Loving the world, one kind thought at a time. 

Restoration: Jesus' death and resurrection

When God brings us to new life, it is the word of God that is the seed growing in us; yet that is closely related to Jesus in his death and resurrection (some would say it is the same thing). Consider first that the apostles speak of Jesus as actually being the Word of God:

In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God. (John 1:1)

Jesus is the living word of God, being made man to live among us.

Jesus also speaks of himself as a seed that is planted, as he speaks about his upcoming death:

The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. Truly, truly I say to you: Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains but a single seed. But if it dies, it brings forth much fruit. (John 12:24)

So the renewal of the world began with Jesus. Our rebirth, our renewal, is tied to Jesus' death and resurrection.

The apostles taught that we participate in Jesus' death and resurrection -- particularly in our baptism:

So we are buried with him by baptism into death ... (Romans 6:4)

Can you drink the cup that I drink, and be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized? (Mark 10:38) (which Jesus spoken in reference to his upcoming execution.)

Likewise baptism does also now save us -- not by removing dirt from the body but the answer of a good conscience toward God by the resurrection of Christ. (1 Peter 3:21)

The Scriptures speak of new life as part of what it means to be Christ's people. We are taught that we must be "born again" (or "born anew", for those who would rather avoid the connotations of the American "born again" movement). The theme of new birth runs steadily throughout Scripture: "flesh gives birth to flesh, spirit gives birth to spirit", or (with ties to baptism again) "the washing of regeneration" (where "regeneration" means new birth). Peter and Paul both refer to new Christians as "spiritual infants", having started the new life but needing to grow into maturity.

The idea of growing to maturity and bearing fruit is also a steady theme running through the pages of Scripture, with teachings that "By their fruit you will know them", "Does a good tree bear bad fruit?", and "The fruit of the spirit is love, peace, patience, kindness" (etc).

We are even said to be "branches that were grafted into the tree" (Paul, to the Romans), drawing on the ancient theme of the Tree of Life -- and of the shoot springing forth from the stump of Jesse.

The point? Our atonement involves more than just the canceling of a debt. It is a transformation, the beginning of a literally new life. Throughout Scripture, we are given pictures of a new life that is lush and thriving.

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One reason that some avoid talking about the new life is that this subject has often been used the wrong way. It is too easy to lose the focus on the lush and thriving new life given by God. Too often we look away from God's overflowing generosity towards us. We want to measure our progress -- or, worse, someone volunteers to measure it for us. There comes a temptation of faking spirituality by trying to perform our way into the favor of God. Some are tempted to do "good" works for public show, to earn praise and recognition -- or, worse, the right to boast. And some who volunteer to judge other peoples' spirituality are possessed by cold, narrow, or arrogant natures.

Here St Paul set a great example of spiritual leadership by boasting about how awful he had been, to put the best light on the mercy of God rather than on himself. We are most Christlike when we join him in accepting humility (or worse) for ourselves, for the sake of proclaiming God's goodness to others.

Making the simple wise

When I was typing up the previous post with the Psalm about God making the simple wise, I wondered: How many ways can you take that? When God's word makes the simple wise -- specifically focusing on how it does that for the simple -- does that mean it does nothing for those who are already wise in their own eyes? Is it saying that the ones who can be made wise are the simple ones, the ones who come as little children, teachable and open? That the things of God are hidden from the "wise and learned" and revealed to little children? The Bible keeps saying not to be wise in our own eyes. When we are wise in our own eyes we are not teachable; it's a matter of pride. It's spiritually dangerous to be impressed with our own wisdom. Learning follows from humility.

The humility of God

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." -- Jesus (Matt 11:28)

God has revealed himself in Christ; whoever sees Jesus sees the Father. As the Father is, so Jesus is, accurately reflecting the image of God. When the Word of God poured himself out and became man, God's own nature and self were revealed. Since that day when the Word of God took on human flesh, God is no longer an unknown God. We live in a world where we have seen God, where we have known God -- and he was not what we expected.

He has often shown how he values humility. He chose Abraham as an old man to become a father and Sarah to become a mother. He chose David the shepherd-boy, youngest of his brothers, to become king. He chose Mary the peasant girl to bring the Messiah into the world. He has asked us to be humble; he has proclaimed blessings on the meek. And for the mother of Christ,

He has regarded the lowliness of his handmaiden; from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. -- Mary (Luke 1:48)

When we know God through Christ, we see that God's desire for us to be humble is not because he wishes to exalt himself. It is because God himself is humble. When we take up humility, we do not separate ourselves from God, but join him. When we look at Christ and understand that we are seeing the character of God, we understand about God: He is "humble in heart", or "lowly in heart" (AV), giving rest to our souls. It is mind-boggling to me, but we see it in Christ: God is humble.

Christ's Humility (2)

Please pardon the light posting schedule lately. Mom was in the hospital (it worked out fine though it gave us a scare at the time) and I lost a day of work. I have been scrambling to catch up at work. I hope to have caught up soon.

Christ, who poured himself out, made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant ...

What have I ever set aside so that I could help someone else, reach someone else? Can I even imagine setting aside my abilities or achievements? Don't I hang on to the things that make me feel special -- that is, the things that separate me -- precisely because they separate me? What backwards kind of enjoyment is that, to enjoy the things that separate me from others?

How opposite Christ. How much he was willing to set aside. He gave up those things that put him above all else, when he truly was above all else, unlike us. He set aside the things that made him above us, and took up those things that made him lowly like us.

When we meet him in the gospel, he seems joyful. Humility rejoices in all good things. Christ in his humility is essentially generous and warm-hearted.

Pride rejoices primarily in praise. It's greedy, never having its fill, and discontent with what it has. How opposite, opposite is Christ, who was discontent with what he had when he was above us and separate from us, and who was glad to set aside all things to rejoin us.

Christ's Humility (1)

Pride hoards all recognition for itself. In contrast to us and our human ways of thinking, Jesus did not demand recognition or acknowledgment. He even asked that some of his miracles be kept quiet. This was nothing unusual for him, to heal someone in private and ask for no recognition. In his dealings with the officials at his trial, he did not demand an acknowledgment of his accomplishments. He did not become peevish when his achievements went unnoticed by his enemies. He was truly here for us, and had no secret agenda or secondary agenda for his own aggrandizement. The only praise he delighted in was his Father's, the only glory he would accept was from Him.

To Ariel on Humility

Ariel of BitterSweetLife is asking for comments on humility. I'm not sure I have much business commenting but that seemed all the more reason to focus on it. Here are some thoughts I had while doing a Bible study on humility last night.

False humility
There's some focus in Paul's letters on how annoying false humility can be. I wonder how much "focusing on our humility" might give an occasion for false humility. First, there's the danger of focusing on ourselves which is not exactly what humility is about. Then there's the temptation to be proud if we happen to do well.

Humility and the Chief of Sinners
The pastor who made the strongest impression on me only ever used one example of a sinner: himself. No matter what the occasion where he had to point out sin, he always pointed it out in his own life and passed by public putdowns of other people. He also passed up the much easier road of having some nameless, faceless sermon-example sinner. He made it plain that the sin he was struggling with was the sin in his own life. He had the idea that Paul had: the Chief of Sinners -- the biggest sinner we have to worry about -- is ourselves.

Humility and temptation
Those who are humble are better equipped to handle temptation. "Pride goes before the fall" -- and sometimes the pride is imagining that we can't be tempted, we've spiritually progressed beyond that. (As if.) James joins the ideas of pride and temptation, and humility and submission, not really mincing words but calling the proud "religious" folks double-minded, friendly with the world, and at enmity with God. It's very true that temptation has its easiest time when I'm proud.

Humility and reverence
Paul links humility with refraining from complaint and argument. "Do everything without complaining or arguing" -- and what gives voice to complaints and arguments except pride? What appreciates the greatness in someone else except humility?

Humility, honesty, and repentance
Pride says we have no sin; pride is a liar. Humility confesses our sins -- and God has pledged to forgive and cleanse those who turn to him humbly. Humility is more honest than pride.

Humility and wisdom
James says that wisdom leads very naturally to humility; true wisdom (God's wisdom) is not a puffed-up thing but is humble. The wiser we become, the more we realize that we are not actually deserving of being the centers of the universe and that pride is not nearly as useful as humility. Pride puts down other people; humility lifts up other people.

Humility and learning
The book of Proverbs links humility and learning. If we think we already know it all, not only are we dead wrong but our growth is stunted because how could there be any more room to grow? How could we let someone teach us if we think we're better than they are? Pride is the enemy of both friendship and growth; humility encourages them both.

Humility and service
Christ himself was humble -- so humility is not for those who are not good enough to aim for "loftier" virtues. In fact, humility challenges the idea of "loftiness" when it comes to virtue.

Humility and submission
Ooh now isn't "submission" a dirty word these days? It conjures up images of tolerating or silently condoning abuse -- nothing good comes to mind. But right up there with admitting we are not perfect and admitting we do not know it all is admitting that there are times when we owe it to someone else to listen to them. In the case of God, we owe it to him, both from love and from trust, to follow. If we are humble enough, we might even appreciate his greatness and realize how fitting it is to bow to him. Some who have progessed down that path remain continuously aware that it's a profound honor to serve God.

Conclusion
My studies mostly pointed out that I'm really bad at humility and have a lot of growing to do. It's a good thing that Ariel brought up the subject and challenged me to answer.