"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" -- The Golden Rule
"Do unto others as they would want to be done to them" -- The Platinum Rule
To be sure, the Golden Rule and the Platinum Rule have similarities as guidelines for how to treat people. However, for those of us who have ever known someone to take advantage of others' generosity, the Platinum Rule raises certain red flags. The Platinum Rule carries an assumption that everyone is owed what they want from whom they want, and puts full control in the hands of the person asking.
At its best, the Platinum Rule can account for times when we know another person's preferences. In the same way, anyone who follows the Golden Rule would be glad to account for the receiver's wishes -- it is, after all, how we would want to be treated -- so long as the giver shares the belief that those wishes are a good idea. So when the receiver's preferences are known and are reasonable to everyone involved, then there is no material difference between the Golden Rule and the Platinum Rule. But under Platinum Rule, the wishes and willingness of the giver are not taken into consideration; the good judgment of the giver is not part of the picture. With the Platinum Rule, one person's wishes obligate the other to comply, creating an unhealthy power dynamic.
With that in mind, I find the Golden Rule to be safer and wiser, kinder and more sustainable for a number of reasons:
- The Golden Rule treats both the giver and the receiver as equals. It is not centered on one person or the other, but on the shared humanity of both.
- The Golden Rule is based on generosity. It depends on the willingness of the giver and not only the demands of the receiver.
- The Golden Rule provides a failsafe against the assumption that people are owed what they want, while the Platinum Rule does not protect against abuse.
- The Golden Rule protects the giver against situations where the receiver is demanding something objectionable to the giver. The equal validity of both people is built into the Golden Rule.
- In practice, this means that the Golden Rule protects the giver against situations where the receiver is selfish, greedy, or even possibly spiteful. The Golden Rule creates no obligation to fulfill a demand that is unreasonable, unwelcome, or objectionable.
- The Platinum Rule gives the receiver (asker, demander) sole judgment over the giver's actions. The Golden Rule has a balance: it should be reasonable to both. The Golden Rule protects the agency of the giver and the willingness of the giver. The giver ultimately keeps discretion to make personal decisions.
- The Golden Rule protects both giver and receiver from situations where the receiver is young or inexperienced and needs guidance. A receiver may be asking for something irresponsible or harmful.
- The Golden Rule provides guidance when we do not know the other person's wishes, while the Platinum Rule is limited to times when we have specific personal knowledge.
- The expectation of the Golden Rule is equality and reciprocity, not deference. The needs of the receiver are never meaningless or invisible with either the Golden Rule or the Platinum Rule. But the preference or ability of the giver are never meaningless or invisible under the Golden Rule.
Some of these points show the practical limitations of whether we know another person's wishes. In the famous parable of the Good Samaritan, the Golden Rule saved the victim's life, where a stranger took reasonable actions for the obvious needs of the injured man, who seems to have been unconscious ("half dead" in the original parable). In any situation where the two people cannot communicate, the Platinum Rule cannot help.
However, many of these points focus on how the Golden Rule cannot be abused against the consent of the giver. As mentioned before, anyone who follows the Golden Rule would be glad to account for the receiver's reasonable wishes since that is, after all, how we would want to be treated. The Golden Rule keeps the healthy balance between giver and receiver, built on the assumptions that both are equal. Equality and mercy are the essence of fellowship, and the Golden Rule is part of a larger network of teachings intended to build the fellowship of sustainable, compassionate, equal relationships.
