What would it take for me to forgive?

"What would it take for me to forgive someone who wrongs me?" is something I've considered at times. For Christians, who see forgiveness as a good thing, forgiveness is still a common struggle. It might be easier if another person showed regret for harming me or treating me unfairly. It would help if such a person apologized. It would be fantastic if someone offered to make up for some of the wrongs they had done. 

Or what if they did none of those things and left the harm exactly as-is, unacknowledged, unapologized, unamended? 

"In this is love: not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." (1 John  4:10-11)

For God, the question was not what hoops must the sinner go through before He retires the grudge. He was not expecting us to repay him. He did not demand our humility. He did not approach reconciliation by hoping for something from us. His thoughts are so far opposite ours that He did not demand what we must do, but offered what He could do, even though the fault was ours. He was willing to cover the cost himself as he rebuilt the relationship before we agreed to do the same. 

The point here is not to try to lecture myself into forgiveness, but to recognize how differently God approaches forgiveness. I hope to allow myself first of all to be grateful for it. I hope that recognition moves me to see the world more as He does. As far as whether I am called to be first to put down the grudge: of course I am, and especially with those who do not know Christ.