Satanists demand, "Put the Hxll back in Hallowe'en!"

The growing secularization of our culture has led to many traditional groups having their special and particular celebrations renamed in order to be less offensive to those who weren't planning on celebrating anyway. This trend has long been approaching on that most distinctive of holidays, a favorite of Satanists worldwide: Hallowe'en. Do you call it "Fall Festival"? "Harvest Celebration"? Fairy Tale Day?

In this short interview, we have a question and answer session with the spokesman of a newly-formed Satanist group:

Q: Your group believes that you follow the most powerful spiritual being in existence. A certain percentage of people are afraid of your group, and you've got some public visibility, especially around such a holiday. How do these factor into your plans for reclaiming your heritage?
A: Not at all. Our official policy is to complain to our friends, neighbors, and co-workers in the hopes that will raise consciousness of the problem. Yet still, year after year, we see offensively-titled celebrations like "Autumn Fair" or "Fall Fandango". It's quite insensitive.

Q: Why do you think you have not had greater success in raising consciousness of these issues?
A: We believe the market is over-saturated with groups that exist to promote themselves. That and our studies indicate there may be some obstacles to perceiving Satanists as victims.

Q. As you mentioned, you all have some significant problems with your public image. What is your reaction when your opponents try to demonize you?
A. (Pause) We don't mind that so much. But we find that other groups have a rather naive idea of what's involved in demonizing their opponents.

Yes, well perhaps our friends can explain how that's really done, some other time. And that concludes the first press conference with Advocates of Pagan Religions (APR-1).