|Struggles with bitterness and resentment aren't really something we Christians talk about very openly. Speaking for myself, I'm embarrassed to have these struggles and these ugly spots in my heart. All the same, every so often I find myself struggling against resentment and bitterness, especially when dealing with various people who have treated me badly. In keeping with Paul's instructions "Get rid of all bitterness" (etc.) I'd originally planned a spiritual Spring Cleaning for Lent. I have now decided that I'd rather not wait for Lent. Bitterness and anger work against love, and are often temptations to hatred. The sooner I address it, the better. |
I'll have to ask you all to bear with me on this post. It's awfully forthright. It does not exactly show me in the best light, but I decided to post it in the hopes that other people might recognize their own struggles. The list below is not meant to justify my anger; it is simply meant to locate the problem. The next post on the subject will be more edifying, but this one has to come first: tracing down the various roots of bitterness and resentment, and being forthright with myself about the things that I need to address.
I'd originally made this list for my own private use by name of each person who has been getting on my nerves. I'm omitting the names in this published version. At first I hesitated to even acknowledge the various resentments that were growing inside me because I wasn't sure what good it would accomplish. I'll show the advantage of making such a list in my next post. It turns out to have been a real help to be specific about not only who was getting on my nerves, but also what, exactly, was bothering me.
For now, I just identify resentments: where I struggle with forgiveness and love.
|Who's bothering me||What's bothering me|
|And just for good measure, |
Anonmyous #5 -- some older stuff that still bothers me sometimes
|In the next post: what good can possibly come from opening that can of worms.|