Better Thanksgiving spiritual prep (the relatives)

For years I've been working to be better prepared for the annual Thanksgiving gathering in a family where the simmering tensions are a given. And the preparations have been helping, though again I'm hoping to take it one step further this year. This year I am taking the "do unto others" approach: where I wish other people would remember any decent or good thing I've ever done and treat me accordingly, I plan to remember a decent or good thing each person there has done, and try to find an opportunity to work that story into the conversation. So this year, I hope to uplift the people there with memories of how they:

• made really amazing pumpkin pies
• used to hem pants for my grandfather
• whenever the grandparents were in the hospital, used to cheer up youngest generation with balloon-games with the hospital gloves
• was a favorite substitute teacher
• earned "world's most patient" status during her husband's declining years
• danced along with the staff at Chuck E Cheese parties and made everybody smile (someone who is now old enough to appreciate that rather than be embarrassed by it)
• followed his own sense of direction in a career choice, rather than doing what was expected

We'll see how many of these I can work into the conversation this Thanksgiving. 

I'm also reviewing some of the holiday preparations from prior years:

• One thing I'm thankful for, about each person at the Thanksgiving dinner
• A Christian response to backhanded compliments
• A more pro-active approach on backhanded compliments
• Writing a scroll of remembrance for peoples' kindnesses to me
• Forgiveness struggles part 1 and part 2

Though when it comes to backhanded compliments, it seems that ultimately, if I'm expecting backhanded compliments, I should go armed with honest and earnest compliments about the others, or stories that build up the other people. It might set a better tone and prevent the insults, or (if not), still "bless those who curse you".