Fellowship that endures past the first test

I plead with Euodias, and I plead with Syntyche, that they be of the same mind in the Lord. And I ask you also, true yokefellow, to help those women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also ..." - Philippians 4:2

Some quarrels are petty, others are understandable. Here we don't know the cause, only the effects: the disagreement was divisive. Quarrels hinder morale and productivity. They cause pain because they disrupt fellowship and friendship. Paul in his many letters explained so many things, and addressed all kinds of problems in the church. And he places enough value on fellowship that he stops to address this disagreement among members.

When we think about what matters in the church, it is easy to be high-minded: we think of teaching rightly, taking care of the poor, building peoples' faith, encouraging people in love, kindling hope, proclaiming forgiveness and reconciliation. All of those things are vital. But forgiveness and reconciliation are easier to teach than to live.

As for Euodias and Syntyche, we don't know which party was "right" or "wrong", or if those words even apply to the original disagreement. But it looks like the division was causing problems for the larger group, and in those problems we may recognize right or wrong. The people originally involved had not resolved their disagreement; had they let it fester? We've all been in the company of people who are in an enduring disagreement; it can be unpleasant. There is a cost to the hearts of other people around them. 

From inside the quarrel, it may have looked like a matter of right and wrong. It may have looked like a matter of harm and grudges. After awhile, from the outside, those things usually look like stubbornness and pride.

Is a heart ever cleansed without repentance? Is a harm ever healed without forgiveness? Repentance from one person, forgiveness from another person -- they seem like such different things. But they both require humility, and they both require that love becomes more important than the cause of division. Lack of repentance, lack of forgiveness -- in my experience, both generally come from pride. Christianity forbids us to turn the faith into a system of keeping score about who was right: "Love keeps no record of wrongs." When the system has no interest in keeping score about who was right, forgiveness and repentance are not such different actions. And no fellowship survives the first problem intact without both.