Kingdom of Forgiveness

Jesus prayed: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they're doing." He prayed this at the beginning of his execution, which was a long, drawn-out ordeal.

We Christians often reflect on Jesus' death and its role in our forgiveness. We may recall what he said to one of the criminals dying beside him: "Today you will be with me in paradise." In sermons, we are encouraged to think of ourselves as the criminal on the cross, or as the betrayer like Judas Iscariot, or like Barabbas as the one whose guilt he bore while we went free.

Today, instead of focusing on ourselves as the criminal who was caught, or the one who got away,  maybe we can also see ourselves as the objects of Jesus' prayer for mercy: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they're doing." Maybe we can see other people alongside us -- who need forgiveness as much as we do -- and see them too as the objects of Jesus' prayer: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they're doing."

Today, we can rest in Jesus' prayer: his prayer is for our forgiveness.

(Based on the lectionary reading for today, Christ the King Sunday.)

Holiday Charity Drives -- The Good, the Bad, and the Common Ground

'Tis the  season. It's not quite Thanksgiving yet, but the commercial radio stations have begun to play Christmas music, the stores have begun to stock Christmas decorations -- and the charities are starting to solicit donations from people who are in the holiday spirit of generosity. But am I the only one disturbed by the tone?

Once I had a nominal facebook friend try to shame everyone on his friends list into donating to his then-favorite charity in support homeless gay teens. If anyone didn't support that cause with a donation, it was implied that they were part of the problem. I've had other friends request contributions to other incredibly-specific-social-problem charities for their birthdays. There is often an element of trafficking in guilt, shame, or victimhood to charity requests, with the worst of them coming across like an excerpt from the comically-insane points system in The Good Place. Goodwill is not manipulative, so why are so many charity requests?

The thing is, as much as I may pray for anyone who requests my help, whether homeless gay teens or people plagued by suicidal thoughts, I tend to help where self or friends or family have been hurt. I'm more likely to volunteer at 12-step events or donate clothing to homeless veterans' charities or contribute to certain medical charities.

We help because we care. But we cannot assume that people who do not help our cause do not care, or are bad people. I may not donate to their cause; they may not donate to mine either. I think many people are generous where they themselves have felt the pain or loss and can relate. If each person shows their generosity in the place where they feel the need, then each group will receive generosity in proportion to the number of people affected. The size of the outreach keeps scale with the size of the need.

For myself, may I pray for all in need. May I cheerfully help where I feel called to help. And may we support each other on our separate journeys with goodwill.

God's reasons for creating: Insight for parenting

"Why did God create the world?" has been an often-asked question. While some will say we do not know why God created, there is a uniform agreement that God did not create out of need. One traditional answer from Christians is that creation comes from an overabundance of God's love and goodness. Beyond the armchair arguments of theologians, the answer has implications for everyday life. Is God's relationship to us unknown, or based on his need, or based on his generosity and grace? His reasons for creating us form the basis for the whole relationship with us. So for us, it matters very much whether our existence is based on God's overflowing love and goodness.

Scripture encourages us to view God as the model for earthly parenting. And that is where it connects to our own relationships with our children. When we bring new life into the world, why do we have children? Our reasons affect our relationship with our children.

Of course there are happy couples who want children. Then there are couples who have children to try to save their marriage. There are women who have "atonement babies" to try to recoup their emotional losses and family losses after an abortion. There are people who have children to fill the voids in their lives. There are people who have a sense of duty or obligation about having children. There are couples who simply find themselves expecting a child without serious forethought on the matter.

From all these reasons why a parent might have a child, none of them would prevent a parent from loving a child. But some motives would put the relationship on hazardous ground. Some reasons would risk turning the relationship into something about meeting the parent's needs rather than the child's.

I do not write to cause any anxiety or distress, but simply to raise awareness. The more we can meet our own needs, the more overflow of grace we will have for our children.

Self-love and love of neighbor

Jesus taught that the command, "Love your neighbor as yourself" was of great importance among the commands of the Torah, second only to the love of God. And in that command, the love of neighbor has a touchstone: love of self.

Let's look at Jesus' parable of the sheep and the goats with an eye to recognizing ways to show love to self and others:

I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink.

We begin to love people -- ourselves and others -- in meeting the basic needs of sustaining life: food and drink. If we are hungry, we feed ourselves. If we are unable to feed ourselves, we do not neglect ourselves but let others know our need. If we see those who are unable to feed themselves, we provide for them in the way we would want others to provide for us. 

I was a stranger and you welcomed me. 

We recognize our basic need for belonging and for welcome. From this we learn not to isolate ourselves or disregard the company of others. While love of our neighbor may begin with physical needs, it does not end there. We recognize the positive good of hospitality and the value of building fellowship. 

I was naked and you clothed me. 

We recognize the distinctly human need of clothing. From clothing we can infer not only covering, but the need for cleanliness and for dignity. 

I was sick and in prison and you visited me. 

Here we recognize care and compassion in times of distress. Someone who visits the sick gives companionship and relieves their suffering and distress as they are able. It follows that self-care includes a positive duty to care for ourselves when sick or injured, and that love will seek to ease the discomfort of the sick. As for those in prison, we are called to be there even for the wrongdoer. It is an act of mercy and reconciliation. If we are to visit those in prison, how much more should we visit those who are isolated for smaller offenses. This teaching reminds us to remember both justice and mercy in lesser cases where a person did wrong but may not be in prison.