Healing - "He restores my soul"

The word "restore" reminds me of how my brother used to restore homes: he'd take a fixer-upper and fix it up, then rent it out. He built a very comfortable living from that, from restoring homes. He could take the most run-down wreck of a place and make it beautiful. He had an eye for it, and the know-how, and the work ethic.

There's a difference in quality between a well-kept home and a neglected one. The main difference is the people inside. Does anyone care? Is there a solid foundation of human warmth and connection? The people inside a warm home are relaxed, safe, and enjoying each others' company. They work together to create the warmth. On the other hand, the run-down house has been neglected; either the owners have abandoned it, or died, or lack love for it. (Or maybe their mind is broken ... it happens.) There's a certain hopelessness inside a run-down home, or an overwhelmed feeling. The people inside a neglected home are alone or at odds with each other, and usually angry or frightened.

With people, it is much the same way as with the physical buildings: if you know what to look for, it's easy to spot the ones from homes where there's not quite enough love. Their lives become something like the abandoned building, not quite working right, even falling apart. There's a feeling of secrets, of watchfulness, of unhealthiness, of fear.

It is just over five weeks since the death of my brother, and as with so many far-premature deaths, "Why?"is complicated. Still, it starts with the house where we grew up. Faith and hope were foreign words there; "love" was a word that didn't seem to mean what I thought it should mean. My first exposure to religious people was a breath of fresh air, mostly because I saw the warmth that comes from genuine affection and human connection, things that they took for granted, and the feeling of relaxation that came with being around people you could trust. Even the air they breathed felt different.

The warmth in a home comes from faith, from hope, from love. Those come from the people inside the home. While I have held as well as I can to Jesus who has taught me faith and hope and love, I am here to tell you that I do not have the supply of those that I need or want. So I hold the promise dear to my heart, "He restores my soul." The things that can restore a soul are the things that give it life: faith, hope, and love, the greatest gifts of the Spirit of God.

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Personal note: It is my hope that, in the next few weeks, at some point it will stop feeling trivial -- and disrespectful of my brother's passing -- to continue with some other topics that I enjoy researching. But today my main thought is, "Too soon."