tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15860677.post3159298561212232782..comments2024-03-25T14:27:40.121-05:00Comments on Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength: Psychology or Spiritual Direction? Part 2Weekend Fisherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10425001168670801073noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15860677.post-68668368921221556092007-08-19T13:52:00.000-05:002007-08-19T13:52:00.000-05:00They're very different types of relationship, aren...They're very different types of relationship, aren't they?<BR/><BR/>When there's a significant difference in the amount of life experience or wisdom or maturity, it's good for one to hold respect or (depending on the circumstances) some measure of authority, regardless of whether it's counselor/client or something more spiritual. <BR/><BR/>The very fact of "doing counseling" brings with it certain risks. It's like medicines having side-effects: we probably still take the medicines but we ought to be wise to what the side effects are. Likewise, there are "side effects" to counseling and I think everyone does best to have their eyes open. <BR/><BR/>One problem is when the gift becomes a codependent one, as when counseling just reinforces the habit of a needy relationship where the client never has to grow up and be there for another person or see someone else's problems besides their own. <BR/><BR/>Another concern is that the "solution" (counseling) may not be a clean fit to the problem, for example when the problem is a need to develop two-sided relationships ... or a search for community, or for meaning. <BR/><BR/>The point here is just to sketch out some of the risks and shortcomings that are part of the "counselor/client" approach, and why that's not the only approach to consider.Weekend Fisherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10425001168670801073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15860677.post-47230353019058415082007-08-18T19:54:00.000-05:002007-08-18T19:54:00.000-05:00I think it's okay to admit that not every relation...I think it's okay to admit that not every relationship is on equal footing.<BR/><BR/>We take university courses because we expect the professors to know more than we do. We go to pastors, spiritual directors or therapists for counseling because we want the help their expertise provides. Sure, we go to friends and family too, for warm friendship and a listening ear, but we don't expect friends and family to know how to cure schizophrenia. When I go to my pastor I'm also seeking the wisdom she has as a long-time spiritual leader.<BR/><BR/>I also think it's okay for there to be some formality and distance in the relationship. I think it can actually be quite damaging for the counselor to say "let's be friends" if he/she is not actually prepared to spend lots of time with the parishioner/client on a "friend" basis, outside of the counselor role.<BR/><BR/>The other thing is that in a completely mutual relationship (like a friendship) it's not all about one person. Whereas a counseling or pastoral relationship creates a space for it to be all about the client/parishioner's issues. That's a profound gift that pastor gives parishioner. It's a wonderful thing. And, it's not the same as what makes a friendship wonderful.Heather W. Reichgotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04678926165429957396noreply@blogger.com