Forgiveness and Restored Fellowship

Lately I have heard more than one person proudly announce forgiveness by saying something along these lines: "I'll forgive so that I am not burdened," without any plans to reconcile. They may also mention that harboring a grudge is like drinking a poison and hoping the other person dies, and so they stop drinking the poison. (From the tone of voice, they may still wish the other person dies.) 

And yet forgiveness, as we know it from God, is a forgiveness that does not write off the relationship. God's forgiveness always hoped we would not die ("takes no pleasure in the death of the sinner"). God's forgiveness is not for personal peace-of-mind, to get away from the uncomfortable feeling of being mindful of a wrong toward him. God's forgiveness is not a detachment but a reconciliation. So forgiveness from God is not merely the end of resentment, but the renewal of the relationship. 

Of course it takes two to reconcile. That said: a mere detachment cannot lead to reconciliation; it never sought it in the first place. In that way, detachment can resemble condemnation more than it resembles forgiveness in the Christian sense. 

With detachment alone, the natural outcome is that people become more and more disconnected, more isolated. To build fellowship and community, it's necessary to reconnect. It's harder work, but it is how God forgives us.